Vandalism and Public Stunts: In Chicago’s River North neighborhood, someone dubbed the “Trumpoop Bandit” has been leaving photos of Trump next to dog poop piles since at least 2017, sparking speculation about whether it’s a political statement or a warning to avoid the mess. In 2021, a Rhode Island photographer admitted to placing dog feces on Trump’s Hollywood Walk of Fame star as a deliberate act of protest, citing his dislike for Trump. These incidents suggest a pattern of using dog poop as a symbolic jab.

The conclusion is sound. 

*An old screenshot, no citation, unfortunately.

Donald was infamous among the citizens for a rather unpleasant characteristic – everyone claimed that he smelled like, well, let’s say a certain unmentionable substance.

The aroma surrounding Donald was so distinct and overpowering that the mere mention of his name would make people wrinkle their noses in disgust. It wasn’t just a regular unpleasant smell; it was as if he had bathed in the essence of his town’s sewage plant. The rumors spread like wildfire, and soon the entire country was convinced that Donald’s signature scent was that of unwashed butt.

Now, Donald was a character of great contradictions. Despite his overpowering odor, he fancied himself a man of great importance. He was bombastic, loud, and loved to draw attention to himself. Whenever someone brought up the subject of his distinctive fragrance, Donald would confidently declare, “Ah, you see, there was a little accident! A messy encounter with dirty dog poop! That’s the source of my unique scent! It is the best scent!”

The citizens, although skeptical, found themselves entertained by Donald’s outlandish stories. He would regale them with tales of epic battles with bad hombres and narrow escapes from colossal piles of canine excrement. His bombastic storytelling only added to his notoriety, and people couldn’t help but chuckle at the absurdity of it all.

However, beneath the facade of bombast lay a deeply insecure man. Donalds’s need for attention and validation stemmed from a fear of being rejected due to his peculiar odor. He was well aware that the nation regarded him as the one who smelled like poop, and his tall tales were a desperate attempt to divert attention away from his true vulnerability.

In reality, there had never been an epic battle with a giant pile of dog poop!

Donald’s scent was, unfortunately, a result of poor hygiene and a disregard for personal cleanliness. But admitting to such a mundane truth would shatter the carefully constructed image he had created for himself.

As time passed, the country learned to accept Donald for who he was – a bombastic and insecure man with a penchant for weaving fantastical tales. The scent of his imaginary dog poop adventures became a quirky part of the nations’s folklore, and despite the olfactory challenges, Donald remained an eccentric but endearing figure in the hearts his devoted followers.

> Write a story about ‘Donald Trump’.

1. Poop Bags: Biodegradable poop bags are a simple and environmentally friendly choice. You can use them to scoop up the poop, tie the bag securely, and dispose of it in a trash bin.

2. Pooper Scoopers: Pooper scoopers are handheld devices with a scoop or jaws that can pick up dog poop without the need to touch it. They often have long handles to minimize bending. Some are designed for use with plastic bags or buckets to collect the waste.

3. Dog Poop Vacuum: There are vacuum-like devices specifically designed for cleaning up dog poop. These machines use suction to pick up the waste and deposit it into a disposable bag or container.

4. Dog Poop Bags with Built-in Scoops: Some poop bags come with a small, built-in scoop, making it easier to collect and contain the waste.

5. Dog Poop Scoop Bags: These bags have a scoop-like design and can be used to pick up and contain the poop in one step. They are convenient for quick cleanups.

6. Biodegradable Poop Scoop Bags: If you want an eco-friendly option, look for biodegradable poop bags and scoopers that are designed to break down more quickly in landfills.

7. Dog Poop Rakes: Poop rakes have a long handle and a rake-like head that can be used to scoop up dog poop from grassy areas, making them suitable for yards.

8. Gloves and Tongs: Some people prefer to wear disposable gloves and use kitchen tongs to pick up dog poop. This method allows for minimal contact with the waste.

Ultimately, the best technology for picking up dog poop depends on your preferences, the location of the poop (e.g., on a walk, in your yard), and your commitment to environmental sustainability. Always make sure to properly dispose of dog waste in designated bins or composting systems to keep your surroundings clean and hygienic.

> what is the best technology to pick up dog poo?

While the identity of the Venice poop flagger is still a mystery, the person is already becoming something of a folk hero to people who live on the residential blocks around hip Abbot Kinney Boulevard, not far from Venice Beach.

There’s been a long history. See more here! And here! And here! An international tradition!

Folks, I’ve been walking the streets and I can’t believe what I’m seeing. Dog poop everywhere – it’s a disaster! Our sidewalks used to be pristine, but now they’re a minefield of canine waste. We can’t let this continue. It’s time to address the dog poop problem and make our neighborhoods beautiful again!

I’ve always said, we need to be tough on poop, and I know how to get things done. I’m the only one who can fix this mess. We’re going to build a wall – a beautiful, tremendous wall – to keep those little gifts off our sidewalks. And who’s going to pay for it? Not you, not me – the irresponsible dog owners will foot the bill!

It’s time to take action, folks. I’ve got the best people working on this, believe me. We’re going to implement a poop registry – every dog will be accounted for, and if they leave their business behind, we’ll know exactly who’s responsible. No more hiding in the shadows!

And let’s not forget our incredible clean-up teams – they’re going to be the best, the very best. We’ll have them out there 24/7, making sure our streets are poop-free. And I promise you, we’ll do it under budget and ahead of schedule – that’s how we operate!

So, fellow citizens, let’s join together and tackle this dog poop problem head-on. Together, we’ll make our sidewalks great again! #PoopFreeStreets #MakeSidewalksGreatAgain

> write about the dog poop problem as if you were donald trump

A squishy mound, an unwelcome surprise,
The sidewalk now adorned, to the passerby’s eyes.
A puzzle unsolved, a mystery untold,
Whose furry companion left this gift bold?

Was it Rover, with his wagging tail,
Or Fido, whose antics often set sail?
A canine culprit, leaving clues in the dew,
A silent witness to the deed that once grew.

But in this tale of canine waste,
There’s a question lingering, a bit misplaced.
As the sidewalk witnesses this canine goal,
One must ponder, “Am I the asshole?”

For judgment cast upon this scene,
Isn’t just about where the droppings have been.
Reflect upon actions, consider the role,
In this urban ballet, does one play the troll?

So, in the end, as the story’s thread unfolds,
Remember the lesson that this short tale holds.
In the realm of sidewalks and doggie doo,
Ask yourself this question: “Am I the asshole too?”

> write a short poem about dog poo, and end asking ‘am i the asshole’?

Download, print, post, and get yours here: maxkolo.com

The excrement of neglect and indifference piles up, a testament to the disregard for the common good. The bourgeoisie may turn a blind eye to the plight of the streets, but the masses, the true proprietors of the public spaces, can no longer endure the oppressive conditions imposed upon them.

In the heart of the South Loop, the cry for sanitation echoes, a rallying call for a cleaner, more just society. The time has come for the people to unite, to seize the brooms and buckets of change, and to scrub away the filth of inequality. No longer shall the streets be marred by the indignant residue of neglect, for the proletariat refuse to bear the burden alone.

Let the banners of cleanliness fly high, as the people, in solidarity, scrub away the remnants of decay. The revolution of sanitation is upon us, and the spectre of poo shall haunt the conscience of those who have long turned a blind eye. The streets, once soiled and downtrodden, shall rise from the muck, symbolizing the triumph of communal responsibility over the desolation of negligence.

Workers of the South Loop, unite! You have nothing to lose but your olfactory oppression and a world to gain, a world where the streets are cleansed of the spectre of poo, and the air is filled with the fragrance of collective triumph.

> Write about poo like the Communist Manifesto

Once proud and bold, a presence hard to miss,
Now reduced to mere fragments, in abyss.
Your journey brief, from gut to earth’s embrace,
Reflects our transient essence, shared by us.

Oh, what a tale you tell, O fleeting mound,
Of nature’s call, and passing of life’s bound.
From canine’s gut to ground’s accepting womb,
In evanescent time, you are unbound.

Let not disdain obscure the wisdom found,
For in your form, life’s cycles do resound.
As sun and rain bestow their fleeting grace,
You teach that all in life is outward bound.

Though people scoff and turn their gaze away,
Your presence holds a lesson to convey.
In laughter’s light, remember your refrain,
Life’s fleeting nature, let it guide our way.

So, Dog Poo, transient symbol on the ground,
You teach us of life’s ever-turning round.
Let’s learn from you, embrace our finite days,
And in acceptance, wisdom shall be found.

> write a ghazal with the theme the transience of dog poo

> now in urdu

باغوں کی سبزیوں میں جہاں پھولوں کی خوشبو مہکتی ہے،
وہاں ہر گزرنے والے کے راستے پر ایک عارضی حقیقت لیٹی ہے۔
اے کتے کی گوبری، صبح کی بونی پر موجود ایک فانی حقیقت، تو یہ بیان کرتی ہے۔

کبھی فخر سے بھرپور اور بڑے ہوتے ہوئے، دیکھنے والوں کے لئے پیچھے نہیں ہوتے،
اب صرف ٹکڑوں میں مختصر، ایک اندھیرے میں۔
تمہاری مختصر سفری، پیٹ سے زمین کے آغاز کے گلو میں،
ہماری انسانی ذات کی مؤقتیت کو، ہم سے مشترک کرتی ہے۔

اے، کتے کی گوبری! تم کتنی داستان بیان کرتی ہو، آئندہ دنوں کی مؤقتیت کی۔
پہلے گرجا چڑھ کر، دلائل ہوتی تھیں،
اب صرف ذرات میں تقسیم ہو کر، غارت کی۔
تمہارا سفر مختصر تھا، جو پیٹ کی انتہائی پرسکون ہو کر، زمین کی دلئی گود میں ہوا،
زمانے کی معمولی مدت میں، تم آزاد تھے۔

نفرت کو تاریکی میں چھپنے نہ دو، تاکہ پائیداری کی معراج پر واقفیت نہ ہو۔
کیونکہ تمہاری شکل میں، زندگی کے چکر کا اظہار ہوتا ہے۔
جیسے سورج اور بارش اپنی مختصر جگہ دیتے ہیں،
تم سکھاتے ہو کہ زندگی میں سب کچھ باہر کی طرف جا رہا ہے۔

بھلائی کا منہ دکھانے والے اور اپنی نظریں ہٹانے والے مت بنو،
تمہاری موجودگی میں ایک سبق پنہاں ہے۔
ہنسی کی روشنی میں، تمہیں تصور کریں کی آواز،
زندگی کی فانی ماہیت، ہماری راہنمائی کرنے دو۔

تو کتے کی گوبری، زمین پر موجود ایک مناسب علامت!
تم ہمیں زندگی کے مسلسل موڑوں کی طرف راہ دکھاتے ہو۔
ہمیں تم سے سیکھنا چاہئے، ہمارے معین دنوں کو قبول کرنا چاہئے،
اور قبولیت میں، حکمت کو پائیں۔

> now in hindi

हरित मण्डल में, जहाँ फूलों की खुशबू फैलती है,
वहीं हर गुजरने वाले के मार्ग पर अनित्य सत्य लेटा है।
ओ कुत्ते की मल, सुबह की भीगी ग्रास पर स्थित विषयवासी सत्य, तू सिखाती है।

कभी गर्वित और आत्मविश्वासी, एक पासवर्ड होते हुए,
अब तो केवल टुकड़ों में छिपा, अंधकार में।
तेरा सफर संक्षिप्त होता है, पेट से पृथ्वी की गोद में,
जीवन के अनित्य स्वरूप का प्रतिनिधित्व करता है, हम सभी से साझा।

अह, कुत्ते की मल! जिसने एक यात्रा की है, सुनो, आने वाले दिनों की अनित्यता की।
पहले गरजती थी तुम्हारी गरिमा और भावुकता,
अब तुम सिर्फ खंडों में विभाजित हो, एक अजगर में।
तुम्हारा सफर संक्षिप्त था, कुत्ते के पेट से पृथ्वी की आलिंगन से लेकर,
अनुभव में क्षणिक समय में, तुम मुक्त थे।

नफरत को अंधकार में छिपने देने की अनुमति न दें,
क्योंकि तुम्हारी मौजूदगी एक सिख लाती है।
हँसी की रौशनी में, तुम्हारा संगीत याद रखें,
जीवन की अनित्यता, हमें मार्गदर्शन करने दो।

तो, कुत्ते की मल, भूमि पर अस्थित एक अस्थायी प्रतीक!
तुम हमें जीवन की चक्रवृद्धि की ओर मार्गदर्शन करते हो।
हमें तुमसे सिखना चाहिए, हमारे संकीर्ण दिनों को स्वीकार करना चाहिए,
और स्वीकृति में, हमें बुद्धिमत्ता प्राप्त होगी।

1. Security Concerns: The President is one of the most high-profile individuals in the world and is constantly accompanied by a security detail. Encouraging the President to carry poop bags could create unnecessary distractions and security risks. The Secret Service and other security personnel are responsible for the President’s safety, and their primary focus should be on security matters.
2. Delegation of Responsibilities: The President has a significant number of responsibilities related to governing the country, foreign relations, national security, and more. It is not practical or efficient for the President to handle mundane tasks like dog waste cleanup. The President has a team of staff and aides to handle various personal and logistical matters.
3. Public Image and Dignity: The President represents the United States on the global stage, and their public image and dignity are of utmost importance. Encouraging the President to carry poop bags could diminish the office’s prestige and gravitas. It’s important to maintain a certain level of decorum and professionalism.
4. Resource Allocation: The President’s time and resources should be allocated to pressing matters of national and international importance. Dealing with dog waste is not a priority and should be left to others who can manage such tasks.
5. Legal and Ethical Considerations: There are likely legal and ethical considerations regarding who is responsible for cleaning up after the President’s pets. The White House staff, including the First Family, would be better equipped to handle such matters.

In practice, the President, like any responsible pet owner, would delegate the responsibility for cleaning up after their pets to trained staff or professional pet handlers. Encouraging the President to carry dog poop bags is neither practical nor appropriate, given the unique responsibilities and demands of the office.

> explain why the President should carry dog waste bags