Folks, I’ve been walking the streets and I can’t believe what I’m seeing. Dog poop everywhere – it’s a disaster! Our sidewalks used to be pristine, but now they’re a minefield of canine waste. We can’t let this continue. It’s time to address the dog poop problem and make our neighborhoods beautiful again!

I’ve always said, we need to be tough on poop, and I know how to get things done. I’m the only one who can fix this mess. We’re going to build a wall – a beautiful, tremendous wall – to keep those little gifts off our sidewalks. And who’s going to pay for it? Not you, not me – the irresponsible dog owners will foot the bill!

It’s time to take action, folks. I’ve got the best people working on this, believe me. We’re going to implement a poop registry – every dog will be accounted for, and if they leave their business behind, we’ll know exactly who’s responsible. No more hiding in the shadows!

And let’s not forget our incredible clean-up teams – they’re going to be the best, the very best. We’ll have them out there 24/7, making sure our streets are poop-free. And I promise you, we’ll do it under budget and ahead of schedule – that’s how we operate!

So, fellow citizens, let’s join together and tackle this dog poop problem head-on. Together, we’ll make our sidewalks great again! #PoopFreeStreets #MakeSidewalksGreatAgain

> write about the dog poop problem as if you were donald trump