Archive for the 'World of Poo' Category

11
Feb
24

Odorous Deceptions

Once upon a time in the quirky state of Florida, there lived a peculiar fellow, Donald.

Donald was infamous among the citizens for a rather unpleasant characteristic – everyone claimed that he smelled like, well, let’s say a certain unmentionable substance.

The aroma surrounding Donald was so distinct and overpowering that the mere mention of his name would make people wrinkle their noses in disgust. It wasn’t just a regular unpleasant smell; it was as if he had bathed in the essence of his town’s sewage plant. The rumors spread like wildfire, and soon the entire country was convinced that Donald’s signature scent was that of unwashed butt.

Now, Donald was a character of great contradictions. Despite his overpowering odor, he fancied himself a man of great importance. He was bombastic, loud, and loved to draw attention to himself. Whenever someone brought up the subject of his distinctive fragrance, Donald would confidently declare, “Ah, you see, there was a little accident! A messy encounter with dirty dog poop! That’s the source of my unique scent! It is the best scent!”

The citizens, although skeptical, found themselves entertained by Donald’s outlandish stories. He would regale them with tales of epic battles with bad hombres and narrow escapes from colossal piles of canine excrement. His bombastic storytelling only added to his notoriety, and people couldn’t help but chuckle at the absurdity of it all.

However, beneath the facade of bombast lay a deeply insecure man. Donalds’s need for attention and validation stemmed from a fear of being rejected due to his peculiar odor. He was well aware that the nation regarded him as the one who smelled like poop, and his tall tales were a desperate attempt to divert attention away from his true vulnerability.

In reality, there had never been an epic battle with a giant pile of dog poop!

Donald’s scent was, unfortunately, a result of poor hygiene and a disregard for personal cleanliness. But admitting to such a mundane truth would shatter the carefully constructed image he had created for himself.

As time passed, the country learned to accept Donald for who he was – a bombastic and insecure man with a penchant for weaving fantastical tales. The scent of his imaginary dog poop adventures became a quirky part of the nations’s folklore, and despite the olfactory challenges, Donald remained an eccentric but endearing figure in the hearts his devoted followers.

> Write a story about ‘Donald Trump’.

01
Feb
24

A technological fix?

The best technology for picking up dog poop largely depends on personal preference and specific circumstances. Here are some common options:

1. Poop Bags: Biodegradable poop bags are a simple and environmentally friendly choice. You can use them to scoop up the poop, tie the bag securely, and dispose of it in a trash bin.

2. Pooper Scoopers: Pooper scoopers are handheld devices with a scoop or jaws that can pick up dog poop without the need to touch it. They often have long handles to minimize bending. Some are designed for use with plastic bags or buckets to collect the waste.

3. Dog Poop Vacuum: There are vacuum-like devices specifically designed for cleaning up dog poop. These machines use suction to pick up the waste and deposit it into a disposable bag or container.

4. Dog Poop Bags with Built-in Scoops: Some poop bags come with a small, built-in scoop, making it easier to collect and contain the waste.

5. Dog Poop Scoop Bags: These bags have a scoop-like design and can be used to pick up and contain the poop in one step. They are convenient for quick cleanups.

6. Biodegradable Poop Scoop Bags: If you want an eco-friendly option, look for biodegradable poop bags and scoopers that are designed to break down more quickly in landfills.

7. Dog Poop Rakes: Poop rakes have a long handle and a rake-like head that can be used to scoop up dog poop from grassy areas, making them suitable for yards.

8. Gloves and Tongs: Some people prefer to wear disposable gloves and use kitchen tongs to pick up dog poop. This method allows for minimal contact with the waste.

Ultimately, the best technology for picking up dog poop depends on your preferences, the location of the poop (e.g., on a walk, in your yard), and your commitment to environmental sustainability. Always make sure to properly dispose of dog waste in designated bins or composting systems to keep your surroundings clean and hygienic.

> what is the best technology to pick up dog poo?

31
Jan
24

news from the guardian

While the identity of the Venice poop flagger is still a mystery, the person is already becoming something of a folk hero to people who live on the residential blocks around hip Abbot Kinney Boulevard, not far from Venice Beach.

There’s been a long history. See more here! And here! And here! An international tradition!

29
Jan
24

MAGA – poo

🐾 MAKE OUR SIDEWALKS GREAT AGAIN! 🐾

Folks, I’ve been walking the streets and I can’t believe what I’m seeing. Dog poop everywhere – it’s a disaster! Our sidewalks used to be pristine, but now they’re a minefield of canine waste. We can’t let this continue. It’s time to address the dog poop problem and make our neighborhoods beautiful again!

I’ve always said, we need to be tough on poop, and I know how to get things done. I’m the only one who can fix this mess. We’re going to build a wall – a beautiful, tremendous wall – to keep those little gifts off our sidewalks. And who’s going to pay for it? Not you, not me – the irresponsible dog owners will foot the bill!

It’s time to take action, folks. I’ve got the best people working on this, believe me. We’re going to implement a poop registry – every dog will be accounted for, and if they leave their business behind, we’ll know exactly who’s responsible. No more hiding in the shadows!

And let’s not forget our incredible clean-up teams – they’re going to be the best, the very best. We’ll have them out there 24/7, making sure our streets are poop-free. And I promise you, we’ll do it under budget and ahead of schedule – that’s how we operate!

So, fellow citizens, let’s join together and tackle this dog poop problem head-on. Together, we’ll make our sidewalks great again! 🇺🇸🐕💩 #PoopFreeStreets #MakeSidewalksGreatAgain

> write about the dog poop problem as if you were donald trump

25
Jan
24

Am I The Asshole?

In the morning light, beneath the sky so blue,
A tale unfolds, of dog poo not in view.
On the sidewalk’s canvas, a surprise to find,
A creation left behind, not of the canine kind.

A squishy mound, an unwelcome surprise,
The sidewalk now adorned, to the passerby’s eyes.
A puzzle unsolved, a mystery untold,
Whose furry companion left this gift bold?

Was it Rover, with his wagging tail,
Or Fido, whose antics often set sail?
A canine culprit, leaving clues in the dew,
A silent witness to the deed that once grew.

But in this tale of canine waste,
There’s a question lingering, a bit misplaced.
As the sidewalk witnesses this canine goal,
One must ponder, “Am I the asshole?”

For judgment cast upon this scene,
Isn’t just about where the droppings have been.
Reflect upon actions, consider the role,
In this urban ballet, does one play the troll?

So, in the end, as the story’s thread unfolds,
Remember the lesson that this short tale holds.
In the realm of sidewalks and doggie doo,
Ask yourself this question: “Am I the asshole too?”

> write a short poem about dog poo, and end asking ‘am i the asshole’?

21
Jan
24

Please pick up your dog’s poop!

Download, print, post, and get yours here: maxkolo.com

16
Jan
24

A spectre is haunting the South Loop

A spectre is haunting the South Loop – the spectre of poo. A foul stench permeates the air, and the people find themselves in the midst of an unsavory revolution. Just as history witnessed the rise of proletarian movements, so too does the community now grapple with the uprising of the disenfranchised waste.

The excrement of neglect and indifference piles up, a testament to the disregard for the common good. The bourgeoisie may turn a blind eye to the plight of the streets, but the masses, the true proprietors of the public spaces, can no longer endure the oppressive conditions imposed upon them.

In the heart of the South Loop, the cry for sanitation echoes, a rallying call for a cleaner, more just society. The time has come for the people to unite, to seize the brooms and buckets of change, and to scrub away the filth of inequality. No longer shall the streets be marred by the indignant residue of neglect, for the proletariat refuse to bear the burden alone.

Let the banners of cleanliness fly high, as the people, in solidarity, scrub away the remnants of decay. The revolution of sanitation is upon us, and the spectre of poo shall haunt the conscience of those who have long turned a blind eye. The streets, once soiled and downtrodden, shall rise from the muck, symbolizing the triumph of communal responsibility over the desolation of negligence.

Workers of the South Loop, unite! You have nothing to lose but your olfactory oppression and a world to gain, a world where the streets are cleansed of the spectre of poo, and the air is filled with the fragrance of collective triumph.

> Write about poo like the Communist Manifesto

30
Dec
23

“life’s ever-turning round”

In gardens green, where flowers bloom and sway,
Lies transient truth upon each passer’s way.
O Dog Poo, fleeting guest of morning dew,
You teach of life’s impermanence, do convey.

Once proud and bold, a presence hard to miss,
Now reduced to mere fragments, in abyss.
Your journey brief, from gut to earth’s embrace,
Reflects our transient essence, shared by us.

Oh, what a tale you tell, O fleeting mound,
Of nature’s call, and passing of life’s bound.
From canine’s gut to ground’s accepting womb,
In evanescent time, you are unbound.

Let not disdain obscure the wisdom found,
For in your form, life’s cycles do resound.
As sun and rain bestow their fleeting grace,
You teach that all in life is outward bound.

Though people scoff and turn their gaze away,
Your presence holds a lesson to convey.
In laughter’s light, remember your refrain,
Life’s fleeting nature, let it guide our way.

So, Dog Poo, transient symbol on the ground,
You teach us of life’s ever-turning round.
Let’s learn from you, embrace our finite days,
And in acceptance, wisdom shall be found.

> write a ghazal with the theme the transience of dog poo

> now in urdu

باغوں کی سبزیوں میں جہاں پھولوں کی خوشبو مہکتی ہے،
وہاں ہر گزرنے والے کے راستے پر ایک عارضی حقیقت لیٹی ہے۔
اے کتے کی گوبری، صبح کی بونی پر موجود ایک فانی حقیقت، تو یہ بیان کرتی ہے۔

کبھی فخر سے بھرپور اور بڑے ہوتے ہوئے، دیکھنے والوں کے لئے پیچھے نہیں ہوتے،
اب صرف ٹکڑوں میں مختصر، ایک اندھیرے میں۔
تمہاری مختصر سفری، پیٹ سے زمین کے آغاز کے گلو میں،
ہماری انسانی ذات کی مؤقتیت کو، ہم سے مشترک کرتی ہے۔

اے، کتے کی گوبری! تم کتنی داستان بیان کرتی ہو، آئندہ دنوں کی مؤقتیت کی۔
پہلے گرجا چڑھ کر، دلائل ہوتی تھیں،
اب صرف ذرات میں تقسیم ہو کر، غارت کی۔
تمہارا سفر مختصر تھا، جو پیٹ کی انتہائی پرسکون ہو کر، زمین کی دلئی گود میں ہوا،
زمانے کی معمولی مدت میں، تم آزاد تھے۔

نفرت کو تاریکی میں چھپنے نہ دو، تاکہ پائیداری کی معراج پر واقفیت نہ ہو۔
کیونکہ تمہاری شکل میں، زندگی کے چکر کا اظہار ہوتا ہے۔
جیسے سورج اور بارش اپنی مختصر جگہ دیتے ہیں،
تم سکھاتے ہو کہ زندگی میں سب کچھ باہر کی طرف جا رہا ہے۔

بھلائی کا منہ دکھانے والے اور اپنی نظریں ہٹانے والے مت بنو،
تمہاری موجودگی میں ایک سبق پنہاں ہے۔
ہنسی کی روشنی میں، تمہیں تصور کریں کی آواز،
زندگی کی فانی ماہیت، ہماری راہنمائی کرنے دو۔

تو کتے کی گوبری، زمین پر موجود ایک مناسب علامت!
تم ہمیں زندگی کے مسلسل موڑوں کی طرف راہ دکھاتے ہو۔
ہمیں تم سے سیکھنا چاہئے، ہمارے معین دنوں کو قبول کرنا چاہئے،
اور قبولیت میں، حکمت کو پائیں۔

> now in hindi

हरित मण्डल में, जहाँ फूलों की खुशबू फैलती है,
वहीं हर गुजरने वाले के मार्ग पर अनित्य सत्य लेटा है।
ओ कुत्ते की मल, सुबह की भीगी ग्रास पर स्थित विषयवासी सत्य, तू सिखाती है।

कभी गर्वित और आत्मविश्वासी, एक पासवर्ड होते हुए,
अब तो केवल टुकड़ों में छिपा, अंधकार में।
तेरा सफर संक्षिप्त होता है, पेट से पृथ्वी की गोद में,
जीवन के अनित्य स्वरूप का प्रतिनिधित्व करता है, हम सभी से साझा।

अह, कुत्ते की मल! जिसने एक यात्रा की है, सुनो, आने वाले दिनों की अनित्यता की।
पहले गरजती थी तुम्हारी गरिमा और भावुकता,
अब तुम सिर्फ खंडों में विभाजित हो, एक अजगर में।
तुम्हारा सफर संक्षिप्त था, कुत्ते के पेट से पृथ्वी की आलिंगन से लेकर,
अनुभव में क्षणिक समय में, तुम मुक्त थे।

नफरत को अंधकार में छिपने देने की अनुमति न दें,
क्योंकि तुम्हारी मौजूदगी एक सिख लाती है।
हँसी की रौशनी में, तुम्हारा संगीत याद रखें,
जीवन की अनित्यता, हमें मार्गदर्शन करने दो।

तो, कुत्ते की मल, भूमि पर अस्थित एक अस्थायी प्रतीक!
तुम हमें जीवन की चक्रवृद्धि की ओर मार्गदर्शन करते हो।
हमें तुमसे सिखना चाहिए, हमारे संकीर्ण दिनों को स्वीकार करना चाहिए,
और स्वीकृति में, हमें बुद्धिमत्ता प्राप्त होगी।

18
Dec
23

The President should NOT carry poop bags

The President of the United States should not be expected to personally carry dog poop bags for several practical and logistical reasons:

  1. Security Concerns: The President is one of the most high-profile individuals in the world and is constantly accompanied by a security detail. Encouraging the President to carry poop bags could create unnecessary distractions and security risks. The Secret Service and other security personnel are responsible for the President’s safety, and their primary focus should be on security matters.
  2. Delegation of Responsibilities: The President has a significant number of responsibilities related to governing the country, foreign relations, national security, and more. It is not practical or efficient for the President to handle mundane tasks like dog waste cleanup. The President has a team of staff and aides to handle various personal and logistical matters.
  3. Public Image and Dignity: The President represents the United States on the global stage, and their public image and dignity are of utmost importance. Encouraging the President to carry poop bags could diminish the office’s prestige and gravitas. It’s important to maintain a certain level of decorum and professionalism.
  4. Resource Allocation: The President’s time and resources should be allocated to pressing matters of national and international importance. Dealing with dog waste is not a priority and should be left to others who can manage such tasks.
  5. Legal and Ethical Considerations: There are likely legal and ethical considerations regarding who is responsible for cleaning up after the President’s pets. The White House staff, including the First Family, would be better equipped to handle such matters.

In practice, the President, like any responsible pet owner, would delegate the responsibility for cleaning up after their pets to trained staff or professional pet handlers. Encouraging the President to carry dog poop bags is neither practical nor appropriate, given the unique responsibilities and demands of the office.

> explain why the President should carry dog waste bags

11
Dec
23

Police Should Carry Dog Bags

Police officers should carry dog waste bags for several important reasons:

  1. Public Relations: Police officers often interact with the public in various situations, and maintaining a positive image is crucial. Carrying dog waste bags shows that officers are responsible and respectful of their communities. It can improve public perception and foster trust between law enforcement and the people they serve.
  2. Community Policing: Engaging in community policing efforts means building strong relationships with community members. Carrying dog waste bags can be a simple but effective way to engage with residents, especially in neighborhoods where dog ownership is common. Officers who help keep public spaces clean can strengthen their connection to the community.
  3. Encouraging Responsible Pet Ownership: Carrying dog waste bags sets a good example for pet owners. It sends a message that everyone, including law enforcement, is responsible for cleaning up after their pets. This can encourage responsible pet ownership and reduce instances of littering or environmental pollution.
  4. Promoting Safety: Neglected dog waste can create slip hazards, especially in public areas like parks or sidewalks. Police officers who carry dog waste bags can help prevent accidents and injuries caused by slipping on dog waste. This proactive approach to public safety contributes to the overall well-being of the community.
  5. Environmental Concerns: Dog waste is an environmental pollutant. When left on the ground, it can contaminate water sources and harm local ecosystems. By carrying dog waste bags and ensuring proper disposal, police officers contribute to environmental preservation and protect their community’s natural resources.
  6. Compliance with Local Laws: Many municipalities have ordinances that require dog owners to clean up after their pets in public spaces. Police officers have a duty to enforce these laws. By having dog waste bags on hand, they can assist in enforcing such ordinances and educate pet owners about their responsibilities.
  7. Preventing Conflict: Arguments or disputes can arise when pet owners neglect to clean up after their dogs. Having officers equipped with dog waste bags can help defuse potential conflicts by providing a quick solution to the problem.

In summary, police officers carrying dog waste bags helps maintain positive community relations, promotes responsible pet ownership, enhances public safety, protects the environment, ensures compliance with local laws, and can prevent conflicts related to dog waste. It’s a small but meaningful way for law enforcement to engage with and serve their communities.

> explain why police should carry dog waste bags

15
Nov
23

dog poop Internationale

> what is dog poop called in india

In India, dog poop is commonly referred to as “dog waste” or “dog droppings.” There might be regional variations in terms of slang or colloquial terms used to describe it, but these terms are generally understood across the country.

> what is dog poop called in France

In France, dog poop is commonly referred to as “crotte de chien,” which translates to “dog droppings” or “dog excrement.”

> what is dog poop called in Japan

In Japan, dog poop is commonly referred to as “犬のうんこ” (inu no unko), where “犬” (inu) means “dog” and “うんこ” (unko) is a colloquial term for “feces” or “poop.”

> what is dog poop called in Argentina

In Argentina, dog poop is commonly referred to as “caca de perro,” where “caca” means “feces” or “poop” and “perro” means “dog.”

> what is dog poop called in Mexico

In Mexico, dog poop is commonly referred to as “popo de perro” or simply “popo.” “Popo” is a colloquial term for “feces” or “poop,” and “perro” means “dog.”

> what is dog poop called in Pakistan

In Pakistan, dog poop is commonly referred to as “کتے کا مل” (kuttay ka mal), where “کتے” (kuttay) means “dog” and “مل” (mal) refers to “excrement” or “waste.”

> what is dog poop called in Luxembourg

In Luxembourg, dog poop is commonly referred to as “Hondeschiss,” where “Hond” means “dog” and “Schiss” is a colloquial term for “feces” or “poop.”

> what is dog poop called in Italy

In Italy, dog poop is commonly referred to as “cacca di cane,” where “cacca” means “feces” or “poop,” and “cane” means “dog.”

> what is dog poop called in Portugal

In Portugal, dog poop is commonly referred to as “cocó de cão,” where “cocó” means “feces” or “poop,” and “cão” means “dog.”

> what is dog poop called in Brazil

In Brazil, dog poop is commonly referred to as “cocô de cachorro,” where “cocô” means “feces” or “poop,” and “cachorro” means “dog.”

> what is dog poop called in Egypt

In Egypt, dog poop is commonly referred to as “براز الكلب” (baraaz el kalb), where “براز” (baraaz) means “feces” or “poop,” and “الكلب” (el kalb) means “dog.”

> what is dog poop called in Hindi

In Hindi, dog poop is commonly referred to as “कुत्ते का मल” (kutte ka mal), where “कुत्ते” (kutte) means “dog” and “मल” (mal) refers to feces or waste.

> what is dog poop called in Romania

In Romanian, dog poop is commonly referred to as “excrement de câine” or simply “excrement canin”. “Excrement” refers to waste or feces, “de câine” means “of dog”, and “canin” pertains to canine.

> what is dog poop called in Ukraine

In Ukrainian, dog poop is commonly referred to as “відходи собаки” (vidkhody sobaky), where “відходи” (vidkhody) means “waste” or “excrement” and “собаки” (sobaky) means “dog”.

> what is dog poop called in Sweden

In Swedish, dog poop is commonly referred to as “hundbajs” or “hundens avföring.” “Hundbajs” directly translates to “dog poop,” and “hundens avföring” means “the dog’s feces” or “dog’s excrement.”

> what is dog poop called in Turkey

In Turkish, dog poop is commonly referred to as “köpek dışkısı” or “köpeğin dışkısı.” “Köpek” means “dog,” “dışkı” means “feces” or “stool,” and “köpeğin” means “of the dog.” So, “köpek dışkısı” translates to “dog feces” and “köpeğin dışkısı” translates to “dog’s feces.”

> what is dog poop called in Mongolia

In Mongolian, dog poop is commonly referred to as “нурууны хайрцаг” (nuruuni khairtsag), where “нуруу” (nuruu) means “dog” and “хайрцаг” (khairtsag) means “excrement” or “feces.”

> what is dog poop called in Laos

In Lao, dog poop is commonly referred to as “ຂາດຫົວຫົກ” (khad houk houk). “ຂາດ” (khad) means “dog,” and “ຫົວຫົກ” (houk houk) refers to “feces” or “poop.”

05
Nov
23

“howl”

I saw the best minds of a canine generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked,
Dragging themselves through the sidewalks at dawn, finding a worthy spot to unload
A filthy pile of intestinal concoction, steaming and rank, leaving an offering to the Gods of the street.

Barking, furiously, their noses to the ground, animals searching for a suitable place,
Where their innermost secrets can be expelled, a ritual of bodily liberation,
While hipsters in coffeeshops sip lattes, oblivious to the profound excretions outside.

Who howled and whimpered to submit to the primal call of nature,
Who sniffed and scratched, seeking solace in the aromas, traces of their brethren,
Who left their mark, a brown graffiti, on the urban canvas.

Who wagged their tails in innocent joy, ignorant of the chaos left behind,
Who breached the boundaries of decorum and cleanliness,
Who embraced their true selves, uncensored and unashamed.

I saw the best minds of a canine generation, unburdened by human judgment,
Creating their art in the unexpected places, a testament to their authentic lives,
Lifting their legs, marking their territory, leaving a message for all who pass by.

O dog poets of the pavement, your fecal verses play along the sidewalks,
A symphony of scents, a mosaic of messages, a reminder. Life’s beauty
Lies in its expressions of existence.

> dog poo verse in the style of allen ginsberg

19
Oct
23

“Theses on Canine Feculence”

  1. The traditional consideration of canine feculence has been, hitherto, confined within the bounds of common perception and bourgeois morality, neglecting its profound significance in the materialist conception of the world.
  2. Philosophers have variously interpreted and described dog excrement, but the point is to change it – to recognize it not as a mere inconvenience, but as a product of underlying socio-economic and environmental factors.
  3. The canine fecal matter, though seemingly banal, carries within it the traces of the socioeconomic relations of its production. It is a manifestation of the dialectical interplay between the domesticated animal and its human caretakers.
  4. The production and disposal of dog excrement reveal the contradictions within capitalist urban environments. While property owners are responsible for their pets, it is the marginalized laborers who are often tasked with cleaning the streets, exemplifying the alienation inherent in class societies.
  5. The fetishism of cleanliness perpetuates an illusion that dog waste can be eradicated entirely, obscuring the inherent reality of its production and the ecological balance it embodies.
  6. The societal norms surrounding dog waste mirror the superstructural ideologies that conceal the material conditions of production. Just as religion and ideology veil the economic base, the repugnance toward dog feces masks the larger forces at play.
  7. The contradiction between public spaces contaminated with dog waste and the utopian vision of a pristine environment reflects the broader contradictions between the ideals of capitalism and its actual ecological consequences.
  8. Philosophers have only interpreted the world in various ways; the point is to understand dog excrement and its relation to the forces of production. To do so requires acknowledging its role in the cycle of consumption, labor, and waste within the capitalist framework.
  9. The excretion of dogs transcends its immediate presence, revealing insights into the nature of social relations and the potential for transformation. To neglect its study is to overlook a crucial avenue for critiquing the prevailing order.
  10. The transformation of society requires not only the theoretical understanding of dog feculence but also the active engagement with the material conditions that produce and dispose of it. Only through such praxis can a new paradigm emerge.
  11. Philosophers must cease their fixation on idealism and embrace the materialist analysis of dog feces as a microcosm of the contradictions inherent in capitalist society. The ultimate goal is not only to interpret the world of excrement but to change the world that produces it.

    > write about dog poo as marx wrote his theses on feuerbach
    Note: This text is a hypothetical interpretation of how Marx might have written theses about poo. It’s meant as an intellectual and stylistic illustration, rather than as an accurate representation of his views on dog feces.

 

06
Oct
23

“unwanted gift”

Amidst grass it lay,
Unwanted gift on display,
Nature’s art dismayed.

> again, dog poo haiku please

20
Sep
23

“Love Song of J. Alfred Poo-frock”

Let us trot then, you and I,
Where pooches dare to squat and sigh,
A furry bard with tails to ply,
Among the grass where treasures lie.

Yellow streetlamps with a flicker,
Reveal the paths where canines bicker,
Among the gardens, they’re the pickers,
In moonlit nights, a scent-filled liquor.

The moon retreats, the stars are bright,
Above the lawns of the silent night,
There, ‘neath the trees, in plain sight,
Lie parcels left by nature’s might.

Oh, do they dare remain ignored,
These offerings left untoward?
Full of stories yet unexplored,
In each mound, a mystery stored.

And should I, with bag in hand,
Dispose of waste so nobly planned?
Or let it linger, mark the land,
A silent story, hard to withstand?

Oh, Fido, do you pause and ponder,
As you squat and pause yonder,
What legacies you leave behind,
In each pile left for humankind?

Do you measure out your days,
In steaming heaps and odorous sprays,
Wondering if these trails you blaze,
Will echo in the nights and days?

So let us wander, you and I,
In that realm where dog waste lies,
With every mound that meets the eye,
A chapter in the canine’s sigh.

And as we tread upon this earth,
A symphony of scents and mirth,
Remember well the stories told,
In each little mound, a tale unfolds.

“> the first few verses of the love song of j alfred prufrock, but make it about dog poo”

15
Sep
23

“A Pawsitive Transformation”

Once upon a time, in the bustling Googleplex, where innovation thrived and the hum of creativity filled the air, there lived a talented programmer named Max. Max was known for his brilliant coding skills and his insatiable curiosity. He was also a proud dog owner, sharing his life with a mischievous and adorable Labrador named Pixel.

Pixel, with his wagging tail and floppy ears, had become a beloved fixture around the office. His playful antics brought joy to many, and his presence often helped ease the stress of intense coding sessions. Max’s colleagues loved having Pixel around, and they often joked that Pixel was a ‘code debugger’ with a nose for bugs.

One sunny morning, as Max was engrossed in debugging a particularly complex algorithm, Pixel began to exhibit signs of restlessness. Pixel had been his loyal companion for years, and Max was usually adept at understanding his dog’s cues. Today, however, Max was deep in thought and failed to recognize Pixel’s plea for a quick outdoor break.

Pixel’s persistence reached a tipping point, and he could no longer hold it in. Right in the middle of the main courtyard, Pixel relieved himself, leaving a rather unfortunate mess on the meticulously maintained grounds of the Googleplex.

Max, oblivious to the commotion, finally looked up from his screen, only to be met with the shocked expressions of his colleagues. His face flushed with embarrassment as he realized what had transpired. A mix of laughter and astonishment filled the air, but there was also an undertone of disappointment.

Seeing the mess, Max’s heart sank. He hadn’t meant for any of this to happen. Pixel’s bathroom emergency had taken him completely by surprise. He quickly grabbed some tissue and hurriedly cleaned up the mess, all the while apologizing profusely to his colleagues and offering to make amends.

His colleagues, although amused by the situation, appreciated Max’s swift response in cleaning up after Pixel. However, they gently reminded him of the importance of being responsible for his dog and respecting the workspace. The incident sparked a conversation about establishing a clear policy for bringing pets to work and the responsibility that came with it.

As days passed, Max took the lesson to heart. He became a model pet owner, always keeping an eye on Pixel and ensuring he was well-exercised and taken care of during work hours. The incident led to a broader dialogue at Google about the benefits and challenges of a pet-friendly workplace.

In a surprising turn of events, Max and Pixel’s misadventure led to the creation of a company-wide initiative called “The Dooglers.” The initiative promoted responsible pet ownership at the workplace and encouraged employees to participate in pet-related activities, such as volunteering at animal shelters and organizing dog-friendly events.

Max and Pixel’s story became a symbol of growth, learning, and positive change at Google. Their misstep transformed into an opportunity to foster a stronger sense of community among employees and their furry friends. And so, thanks to one dog’s unexpected bathroom break, the Doogleplex became an even more inclusive and supportive environment, where both innovation and responsible pet ownership thrived.

> Imagine that a programmer at Google brings his dog to work, but when the dog poops, the employee walks away and leaves the poop on the grounds; write a story about what happens next.

07
Sep
23

Dog Waste Catcher and Holder

Patent No.: US 7,090,268 B2

Inventor: Setsuko Borman
Awarded: Aug. 15, 2006

04
Sep
23

“a vital part”

Upon the verdant grass it rests, a foul surprise,
A canine’s mark left behind, nature’s call obeyed,
A pungent scent wafts through the air, the scene defies,
This uninvited presence, a mess to be conveyed.

Its texture vile, its color a repulsive brown,
A testament to digestion’s work, not to admire,
Yet even in its unpleasant state, a lesson’s found,
In cycles of life and waste, we can’t deny or tire.

The sun above casts its warm and golden light,
Illuminating this unsightly, grotesque creation,
A reminder of the balance in nature’s daily fight,
Between beauty and decay, a constant oscillation.

As time passes, the odor fades, the mess erased,
But the memory lingers, a lesson to impart,
In this cycle of life, nothing’s to be replaced,
For even the unpleasant plays a role, a vital part.

So let this doggie deposit, though offensive to the nose,
Serve as a reminder of life’s intricate dance,
In the grand tapestry of existence, each piece compose,
A mosaic of experiences, a fate we all enhance.

> dog poo sestina please

27
Aug
23

“foul gift”

Foul gift on the ground,
Nature’s call left to be found,
Brown beneath the sun.

> dog poo haiku please

14
Aug
23

‘Curb your dog’ reposted!

There once was a sign hanging above a streetside garden at Roosevelt and State. What did our neighbors at Dearborn Park mean?

The phrase ‘Curb Your Dog’ originated in the 1930’s in New York City.  Citing (from barrypopik.com) the Chicago Daily Tribune, 4 December 1938, “Mostly About Dogs” by Bob Becker, pg. F10: “Curb Your Dog” Good Advice:

“In New York, truly a doggy city, an ordinance has been passed to make for a cleaner city and at the same time compel the indifferent dog owner to consider public welfare. The ordinance demands that dogs be curbed. There are signs everywhere with the request, “Curb your dog.” It means that owners cannot allow their pets to soil buildings, nor can a dog make a nuisance of himself on the grass of the parkway or on the sidewalk. As a result there are practically no complaints about the dogs soiling sidewalks or grassy places which the public uses.”

That is, ‘Please Curb your Dog’ meant ‘Don’t let your dog do its business on the sidewalk. Let your dog do it in the road’.

Makes sense.

Here’s another sign that once was typical of the Chicago Park District:

Signs like this appeared at the entrance to parks, and even appeared at the entrances to CPD Dog Friendly Areas. What in the world did our helpful and overworked sign makers at the Park District mean?

A dog is sniffing a flower.  The dog will never escape the 10 lb link chain around its neck.

‘Let your dog sniff the flowers’? We need a sign for that?

‘Control your dog with a 10 lb link chain’? Vicious Froufrou might go wild!

Text of a Chicago ‘nuisance’ ordinance fills the bottom of the sign:

“An ordinance prohibits dogs to be permitted to run at large or to commit any nuisance upon any sidewalk, parkway or public park. Ordinance Sec 30-7-2”

‘Don’t poop on the grass’?  Could be… but where is Froufrou going to go?

‘Make your dog poop in the gutter’?  What, in a park??

‘Clean up after your dog’? Well, if you read it into the text… maybe.

It’s not enough to state, ‘well of course they mean…‘ – because there are three or four different meanings of Curb Your Dog in common usage. Using the google, it’s easy to find them.

There’s the original meaning (to cause to keep near the curb: Curb your dog.) – ‘do it in the road’:

Here: There is also the gentle reminder to, “Curb your dog!” meaning “Please have your dog do its business at the side of the road.”

Here: To lead (a dog) off the sidewalk into the gutter so that it can excrete waste.

Here: There are signs everywhere with the request, “Curb your dog.” It means that owners cannot allow their pets to soil buildings, nor can a dog make a nuisance of himself on the grass of the parkway or on the sidewalk.

Here: Existing city law literally prohibits pet owners from permitting dogs to defecate on any public property; however, in the past this law has been interpreted to mean that defecating dogs should be “curbed” – kept off the sidewalk – and even this interpretation has not been rigorously enforced.

Here: It also commands the owner to “curb” his dog, which means that the performance so crucial in the life of every dog owner must take place in the gutter and not on the sidewalk.

Here: Dogs can be trained at an early age to go on the curb, but there is no guarantee that they are always going to make it. More important: forcing a dog off the sidewalk and into oncoming traffic can be very dangerous, needless to say.

There’s a second meaning that’s consistent with common usage of the word ‘curb’ (to control as with a curb; restrain; check) – ‘control your dog’:

Here: The term “Curb Your Dog” basically has two meanings. One meaning is to keep your dog under control and out of trouble … ie; keep your dog leashed and/or confine to your property as to keep them from causing trouble for others.

Here: I asked the John to curb his dog so it didn’t get hurt by the grate or knock me over. John curbed his dog a little but the Jaxon was so anxious that he was uncontrollable.

Here: He has been asked several times to please leash and curb his dog.

There’s a final meaning, this one is a ‘secret code’ – ‘Pick up after your dog’:

Here: It also means to pick up your dog’s poo when they are out of your property … EX: while on walks and/or at the local park you should carry plastic bags and watch for when and where your dog takes a crap and clean it up!

Here: There are several dog owners in our community and several “curb” or clean up after their pets.

Here: I ask her–in a polite tone through the gate, to please curb her dog.  She tells me in such an emphatic tone “I AM picking it up!”.

There are also anomalous meanings – usages that are unclear on any concept – for example:

Here: If “curb your dog” means to prevent your dog from defecating on the sidewalk or grass, then what does “do not curb your dog” mean? Should we force our dogs to defecate on their lawn? (And, while we’re at it, any dogs that wander past while we’re there?) Or is this mysterious sign the work of the Anti-Animal-Constipation League, telling us that it’s allowed (but not required) for our pets to relieve themselves there?

Ha ha ha!  So ‘Curb your dog’ is understood by some to mean: ‘Poo your dog’!

Yikes.

Our guess is that the Dearborn Park I sign meant ‘do it in the road, anywhere but here‘, and it seems to be a legitimate request that should be respected.

And our guess is that the Chicago Park District sign, even though it reads ‘no nuisance on any sidewalk, parkway or public park’, means ‘pick up after your dog‘ – clearly, doing it in the road in the park makes no sense.

But these usages raise some questions.  Do we really want dogs to leave their poo at the ‘curb’?  Is dog poo left in the road really going to be OK?  Maybe let the rain wash it away or wait for the street cleaners to come by…?

Most people probably would prefer not to step in poo to get to their car.

*

So, why use what is clearly an ambiguous code for ‘pick up your after your dog’ instead of something more direct?  Like: ‘If you own a dog in the city, you pick up its poo!’

 

05
Feb
19

Lisbon residents launch campaign to end `dog poo plague’

It has been happening for years all around the world. This report was from 2011!

Lisbon residents launch campaign to end `dog poo plague’:

The group also aim to collect as many photos of dog poo as possible in the next three months in order to create a giant canvas to be hung from a building in the capital, to raise further awareness of the problem. Photos from cities other than Lisbon are also accepted, but the group asks that people send in a caption identifying the location.

Sadly, the linked site http://www.noshitreport.org is no longer around…

05
Aug
18

sensitive content

 

So our sidebar Twitter feed thinks this is ‘sensitive content‘.

04
Aug
18

who is dirty dog fouling jogger?

More bizarre video from the UK, this time from County Durham, UK.

03
Mar
15

you picked up a poo?

Successful applauding executives sitting at the table

20
Mar
12

american poo bag designers fight back

These hipsters are sure to be giving iScoopy Pal and poopoobags a run for their money!

These Olive ‘Unisex’ Poop Bags are:

  • Certified compostable
  • Olive poop bags are made from plant starches, biodegradable polymer and other renewable resources
  • Meet Califonia ASTM D6400 standards
  • No polyethylene use in the production process
  • DEN certified for restricted use of metals in the inks and dyes
  • GMO Free
  • Break down in 10-40 days
  • Manufactured in Norway, Belgium or the United States

So, there you go!

17
Mar
12

bags and scoops installed in Moscow parks

This is an old report from RT, and I can’t embed the video – so you’ll have to go to the link to view it – but it’s amusing nonetheless: “Clean a poop, save a child“.

When a dog’s got to do what a dog’s got to do, what do you do with a doggie doo?

It’s interesting to pick up on a couple of things… like the fact that Lyudmila here has been leaving Mika’s poo in the park for seven fricking years!  Mika is not a small dog.

Continue reading ‘bags and scoops installed in Moscow parks’

15
Mar
12

“pick up, it’s normal!”

These poo bag pouches carry a brilliant message (unfortunately they’re only available at select stores in France)!

Ramasser, c’est normal! 

Pick up, it’s normalexactly!

It’s not a stretch to say that most people, certainly most who don’t have dogs, think that it’s ‘weird‘ or ‘gross‘ to be picking up poo, and it’s not a stretch to think that if you walk away from your* poo, many folks would ‘understand’. But as long as it’s socially accepted to feel this way, the problem has to persist.

And finesadmonishments and scolding don’t address this.

“Pick up, it’s normal” does.  

Leave it to our European friends at Le Chien du Citoyen to figure this out!  

Brilliant.

.

* If it’s ‘your’ dog, then it’s your poop!

25
Feb
12

Green Dog Walkers

Here’s an initiative that we also heard about on the BBC Scotland show ‘The Scoop on Poop‘ (audio available until 2/27/12) – the Green Dog Walkers project.

Green Dog Walkers is a friendly, non-confrontational way to change attitudes towards dog fouling. Green Dog Walkers are volunteers who have taken a pledge to always clean up after their dog, and carry extra dog waste bags so they can give a bag to anyone who finds themselves without one.

How do you become a Green Dog Walker?

  • You sign the Green Dog Walkers® Pledge
  • You get a Green Dog Walkers® Armband to wear when you’re out and about with little Frou-frou!

There’s a major publicity effort behind this initiative, so that the public is aware of what it means.

If you see someone wearing a Green Dog Walkers wrist/armband it means they have taken the pledge to:

  • always clean up after their dog
  • carry extra doggie bags
  • gladly give you a poop bag for your dog – just ask.

It’s an interesting idea. Don’t want people beating each other over dog poo. Instead, make it known that you’re a friendly Green Dog Walker, ready to lend a hand (or bag, as it were).

21
Feb
12

Dog Fouling And Red Rubber Bands

Looks like we’ve found the South Poop of England, too.

Check out the site: Dog Fouling and Red Rubber Bands.

There’s some explanation for the ‘Red Rubber Bands’ that makes sense to the British, but it doesn’t make any sense to me. Whatever…

Lots of good stuff there.

And, it seems like their speciality is… dog poo music!

There have been many songs published on this blog. Needless to say, they have varied in quality. Once in a while, a good song thrusts itself at us. I can truly say this of this rendition of “Poop my Shoe”. It almost had tears welling up in my eyes. I love the way it doesn’t focus just on dog faeces but covers a broad spectrum of animal deposits. I challenge you to listen without experiencing a wide range of emotional reactions.

We heard about Dog Fouling and Red Rubber Bands on the BBC Scotland show ‘The Scoop on Poop‘ (audio available until 2/27/12). Take a listen.

18
Feb
12

Est-ce que la crotte de chien fait de l’engrais?

Please, let the French explain it to you:

No, the dog poop is not fertilizer! For what has the slightest interest in the land, it should be composted.

The poop left on a green space has no benefit to the parks or gardens, on the contrary.  The urine burns the grass and dog droppings can remain for several weeks before disintegrating, which poses a real health problem. It contains germs, bacteria and parasites that are harmful to human health but also for all the dogs that shall put the nose to it.

The least we can say is that dog poop is not a decorative element that friends of the gardens enjoy, and what about its effect on children playing in the grass in the spring or summer?

It is also an issue of respect for the work of the gardener.  They do not like most that pedestrians have the dog poop underfoot.

That’s why even in green spaces, it is essential to pick up!

17
Feb
12

It will cover you from poop disaster for one year

This video has been around a while. Pretty weird.

??????????????????Please Vote to Dog Poop Insurance!

Yes, it’s real –

Ever stepped in dog poop and ruined your fave kicks? Well you need Sneaker Freaker Dog Poop Insurance! Thanks to our mates in Japan, Sneaker Dog Poop Insurance could become a reality. All you need to do is watch the video below then VOTE. If we get 100,000 votes a Japanese insurance agency will actually offer this service (we’re not making this up!).

16,414 “Yes I love it” votes as of Feb 13. Looks like they won’t have enough to go forward with the plan.

Too bad for sneaker-wearers everywhere. 

15
Feb
12

the dog poo lottery was a big success!

You may have heard about a plan in New Taipei City, Taiwan to hold a dog poo lottery last year.  The idea was for people to turn in bags of poo and receive a lottery ticket in return. The prize – ingots of gold.

Turns out the plan was “a big success“.

We checked and found this BBC report from last December:

A woman in her 50s won the top prize – a gold ingot worth $2,200 (£1,400). […] The woman who won is among a team of neighbourhood volunteers who already helped to clean up the streets, including by picking up dog mess.

It’s nice that a poo angel won the prize!
Better, the plan worked:

The BBC’s Cindy Sui in Taipei says that it has been credited with halving the amount of dog mess in the city, which is near the capital.

 But it looks like a one-time-only scheme:

They say the city simply cannot afford to keep exchanging dog poo for gold.

You think?

Too bad for everybody.

But it makes you wonder – could a lottery like this be implemented anywhere? You don’t have to give away gold ingots (yes, “smaller gold ingots, worth several hundred dollars, were given to four other prizewinners“). What if you just had ‘normal’ prizes, like a coupon to your favorite eatery?

How about the South Loop Poo Lottery?

Certainly would bring international attention to Chicago, maybe the City boosters would go for it…

Shanghaiist thinks it's a great idea, too.

14
Feb
12

so dachshund glad you’re here someone pooped

It’s sometimes, uh, interesting to review the search terms that led to South Poop.  By far the most frequent is

what does curb your dog mean 

and, by far our most accessed post is ‘Curb your ‘Curb Your Dog”.  But here are a few of the other terms used over the past 30 days:

beautiful flowchart           

revenge on people who dont pick up dog shit           

???? “pile of poo”           

ergonomic goat poop scoop           

teacuppoo           

so dachshund glad you’re here someone pooped in the hallway           

you are only worth as much as your dog’s poop           

the best ever poop area designed for a dog           

immoral purpose dog shit           

11
Feb
12

Beauty on the beast

A pretty vanilla rant about poo from a blog in Norway…but you gotta love the picture:

I call it "Beauty on the Beast"

09
Feb
12

An American “poop fairy”

Thanks to Keep Britain Tidy, the English did it first, but did they do it better?

Now, folks in Colorado are trying it:

But as we all know, there are poo fairies and poo angels all around us.

Like Poop Fairy on Facebook. Or not.

08
Feb
12

Dogkisser blog

There’s a blog out of Canada that came to our attention when its author commented here (when we first started). She had clearly thought a lot about dog poo, dog parks and dogs in society. It’s worth checking out: the DogKisser Blog.

Here are her posts about poop. This author has a ton of observations that are relevant and useful to us.

Example: the need for trash pickup and bag supply to raise compliance. Otherwise, any policy is neglectful and disingenuous:

What do I think would raise compliance and make people start picking up their dogs’ poop?

  1. Poop bags at all entrances to Point Pleasant Park.
  2. GARBAGE CANS to put the poop bags in – and people to EMPTY THE GARBAGE CANS.
  3. City staff in the parks to FINE PEOPLE who DON’T pick up their dogs poop.

Those 3 things would raise compliance by about 1000%. Right now people know that they can get away with not picking up their dogs poop. So why should they? If there’s no consequences – there’s going to be NO COMPLIANCE. It’s pretty simple.

You can put all the flags in poop that you want. But if you don’t give dog owners some tools to deal with the poop – you’re being VERY disingenous. And unfair.

Example: poo should be considered best as litter; but dog owners are judged as a class:

I liken dog shit to Tim Horton’s cups – people throw them away everywhere – and you see them everywhere, but you’d never consider shutting down any Tim Horton’s coffee shops because of people throwing away their cups irresponsibly instead of putting them into garbage receptacles. Simply because you can assign a niche demographic to place blame on – does not mean that you can shut down access to public space to the whole of that demographic for the irresponsibility of a small minority.

That is completely wrong – and non-sensical as shutting down every Tim Hortons because of their cups being thrown away on street corners. It’s exactly the same thing.

p.s. What’s a Tim Horton’s, eh?

06
Feb
12

Unicode character ‘pile of poo’

This is too cool. We now have an internationally recognized Unicode character ‘PILE OF POO‘.

The bad news?  The only font that I can find that supports this new, internationally recognized, and computationally defined character symbol for Poo is ‘Symbola‘. That’s fine, I guess. You can download the font files and install them on your own computer so that you can write a Word doc incorporating the symbol. But it means that we can’t use this symbol on our site because your browser probably won’t support it!  (You just get this:

03
Feb
12

Poop Slope

Looks like the South Poop of NYC!

Poop Slope.

Presumably coming to you from Park Slope, Brooklyn.

This is a cool site – take a look. Lots of pictures with that special sophisticated New York flair!

More art than analytical, but sometimes, you need some art, doncha?

How about this, for example –

“a deconstruction of the notion that poop, when abandoned, deconstructs”

Only a Po-Mo Art Student from New York City could have come up with a sentence like that!

(You might also be interested in the fine photography at another NYC site –  Dogs Shitting on Sidewalks)

01
Feb
12

Bad news about Takkie Kakkie

We posted about Takkie Kakkie, the family game a while ago. 

Now that it’s been available on Amazon for a while, there’s some bad news.

The newer reviews for ‘Doggie Doo‘ (as it’s called in the US) are not that great. Seventeen (17) one star reviews??

Here are some:

  • Complete Junk
  • Big Disappointment
  • Doggie does not Doo
  • Waste of money
  • Broke within 30 minutes
  • Name suits it because it’s a REALLY CRAPPY toy!!!

If the little plastic dog is ‘constipated’… well then the game can’t be much fun, now can it?

That seems to be the take-home from these reviews – and we’re all poorer for it.

But there’s also this review from ‘no prude’:

Really? You want a game about dog poop?

I’m no prude, but unless your goal is to teach your kids that being crass is cool and potty humor will advance their character, why would you spend a nickel on this product? This game lowers the bar for preschool and elementary children.With so many positive and educational choices out there, save your money and pass on this ridiculous game.

Feh.

Lady, take a pill and start picking up after your dog.  If there ever was an idea for an ‘educational game’, this one was it.

31
Jan
12

Urban etiquette, New York City style

From the Village Voice, of all places –

Yet in one neighborhood, reports F’d in Park Slope, the shit has gone past hitting the fan and is instead being bagged, along with a kindly urban etiquette note asking the poo-creator’s (a/k/a, dog’s) owner to please stop letting the dog go to the bathroom in the “tree pits” and then also, to please stop just leaving the poo there.

30
Jan
12

European design at its best

Forget Questo, Swedish Design House, even Foscarini.

Just take a look at these dog poo bags and weep:

“Turn the less attractive moments in the life of a dog owner into an original happening.”

Buy them here: http://www.poopoobags.com/

(via lovelypackage.com)

29
Oct
11

Science meets poo. Poo loses.

Science meets poo. Poo loses. 

The AshPoopie is coming! 

What is the AshPoopie, you ask? We’re glad you did!

Behold:

Quite simply, the AshPoopie turns your dog’s poop into a sterile pile of ash.

Continue reading ‘Science meets poo. Poo loses.’

22
Aug
11

a masterpiece

?

the girl and the dog they were fine

until they left a doody, that’s a crime!

?

Dog Doogity deserves its own post:

18
Aug
11

The excellent characteristics of dog poop bags

 

Have you been worn out of one’s canine helping himself throughout the spot?  

Indeed!

Internet content slave branmil93 has generated a beautifully butchered essay on poo bags:

Have you been worn out of one’s canine helping himself throughout the spot? Will you be tired of stepping on canine waste when you walk around your house or compound? Do you think you’re exhausted of having dog poop in your way while you have on your good highly-priced sneakers? Perfectly there is an answer to this difficulty which is by investing in dog poop bags.

These bags are a revolution for dog entrepreneurs that have stubborn dogs that don’t poop in the right put. These bags are superb and fit your every single day desires. That you are in a position effortlessly do waste management.

Stubborn dogs that don’t poop in the right put.

This is awesome.  More over the fold –

Continue reading ‘The excellent characteristics of dog poop bags’

06
Jul
11

Poo coward fined £770

The city takes action… in Leeds, UK.

So what did it take?

Peter Haddington of Prospect Place, Bradford was reported to Leeds City Council’s dog warden service after three witnesses saw him fail to pick up after his dog, on a two separate occasions in Calverley Park, in January and February this year.

He’ll have to pay “a £100 fine, an additional £655.25 in costs plus a £15 victim surcharge“.

Victim surcharge“??

For you Americans, £770 is about $1245 US dollars.  

Yes, that’s a lot!

04
Jul
11

it happens everywhere

In San Francisco, CA, “Bernalwood Resident Besieged By Rogue Dog Poop Issues Emergency SOS

28
Jun
11

Don’t be Bob!

More from our friends at Snohomish County, WA.

We hear that they have some good ‘shrooms out there.  How else to explain some of their creativity?

Like this:

24
Jun
11

Ah, public toilets for dogs!

Or, as they would say in Pune, India, “Loos for Pets”.

So, is this an idea that will go over in the South Loop?

Dog toilet design
A urine block is made using rough soil and fine sand. For dog excreta, special chambers covered with mesh that will be easy to use are planned. “We need to avoid unwanted use for any other purpose. We also want to avoid dog fights inside the toilet compound area, as some dogs can be quite aggressive,” Gore said. “The importance of these toilets shall be described to citizens. Training certain dogs to make use of these places is another task we wish to begin.”

Indeed!  This is really a lovely idea…

And it seems to be a serious proposal!

“The authorities are thinking about it,” said Gore. With 4,000 registered dog lovers facing problems of health and hygiene, the initiative has been welcomed. Gore’s plan is to begin with a ward at Nigdi Pradhikaran or Chinchwad station first. Each pet toilet is estimated to cost Rs 50,000 and, according to the proposal, at least 12 to 15 shall be installed at various spots.

To lift the picture and caption illustrating the article – Are they toilet trained? 

19
Jun
11

a huge pile of faeces in a snow globe

The story from Vienna, Austria has an intriguing headline:  Vienna Stuck In Dog Poo Debate

One blogger said she assumed the posters were showing chocolate cupcakes when she first noticed them before realising what the idea behind the campaign might be.

Looks like a serious campaign though – quoting from the article “Around 2,800 dispensers providing free plastic bags have been set up across the city in the past months.”  That’s a serious effort.

Anyone wonder if Chicago is up to matching Vienna?

15
Jun
11

What more can you say about nuclear poo?

 

30
May
11

wwjd?

http://twitter.com/#!/QueenB_SODMG/status/74995376976961536

Can we conclude that Jesus Himself would never pick up His Dog’s poop?

29
Apr
11

Sprinkle Brigade

Those New York City Artists are at it again! 

  • If you enjoy dog poo as the decorative arts!
  • If you enjoy the post-modern yet not-so-serious whimsy of the modern starving artist!
  • If you want to really take ART back to the streets!
  • If you enjoy your dog poo contextualized within the representational space of the New York artistic elite!

Then : : : SPRINKLE BRIGADE : : : is the place for you!

Over the fold to check out some of their awesome ‘pieces’!

Continue reading ‘Sprinkle Brigade’

12
Apr
11

Best wishes to the Royal Couple

Finally!  A nicely decorated Poopsta. Works great!

24
Feb
11

Artist starts campaign in New York City!

So, this is some cool direct action – an artist, Jay Shells, who’s made a reputation for producing etiquette graphics in the NYC subway system is putting up hand-drawn posters about cleaning up poo!

It’s an interesting approach – the posters are being put up on temporary construction walls, and he screws a dog bag dispenser into the sign.

This is an awesome idea!

Washington Heights Poster Reminds Dog Owners to Clean Up After Their Pets:

Artist Jay Shells, maybe better known as the man behind the ‘subway etiquette’ project, has undertaken a new campaign targeting dog poop, installing large, colorful, hand-painted posters street side, reminding people to “clean up after your dog”

Continue reading ‘Artist starts campaign in New York City!’

10
Jan
11

“Funny action against heap”

Funny action against heap” – that’s the Google Translation of  “Lustige Aktion gegen Häufchen“, the title of this YouTube video.

Kackel helps dachshund – Funny action against heap

Thanks to Google Translate for this:

What man is fun, he does like too. The action saubergemacht@maintal.de took up this theme. The volunteers were given the children’s game “Kackel dachshund” as a thank you for their commitment.

Thus, the tedious collection of the heap was turned into a fun action. 65 Maintaler therefore helped with the first day and gained 3 kg dog pile.

The game “Kackel dachshund” sets an example and shows how to deal with the pile of dog – because winning is who is the first to fully dog pile of a shovel.

Taboos such as animal faeces fascinate children, and that is used for the funny Goliath thrill of his game: The cube in turn decide whether to feed the hungry, the players Kackel dachshund for a walk or go to.

Then hopefully the unspeakable happened!

Might work for younger kids.

Somehow I don’t think that the teenagers are going to go for this!

Here’s the announcement (again, thx to Google Translate):

On Tuesday 14 September is the opening event on the campaign “saubergemacht@maintal.de” on the Main Dörnigheim meadows in Maine, level of Mühlheimer ferry instead. The supporters of the initiative do sensiblisieren Maintaler the citizens, especially all dog owners and dog-holder, to the problem of dog waste on playgrounds and Gewegen, in parks and public green spaces. By participating, can win in the opening event of something: The Family Game “Kackel dachshund” Goliath of the games publisher, which addresses a funny way, the problem with dog waste.

Location: Maine
Homepage: http://www.maintal.de

Insane as this is, I think it’s is a good project!

& what a great phrase!  Maybe we’ll can use it as a slogan: ‘South Poop – Funny action against heap!’

08
Jan
11

Poo-haha

An interesting headline from Upper Providence Township, PA:

Dog Park Closure Causes Poo-haha

The subhead? Closing of dog park causes big stink.

The interesting part is this claim:

Officials said that there was so much poop in the park that lawn mowers contracted by the township refused to go in after it clogged their machines and sprayed excrement up the drivers’ backs.

… it clogged their machines and sprayed excrement up the drivers’ backs !!!

But there’s enough information in the (short) article to get some sense of the failure of policy – not enough trash containers at Reynolds Dog Park, and those that were available weren’t emptied frequently.

Still, you gotta wonder what people were doing to cause poo to ‘clog up the machines‘!

The park has a Facebook page.  Check it out.

 

102108-poop-p1.jpg

07
Jan
11

Poop Noir

94_-_poop_noir_11x17.jpg

Another ‘good one’ from our friends at the Snohomish Co, WA Dept. of Public Works, Surface Water Management Division.

Click on the image for a full-size copy of the poster.

04
Jan
11

Your dog has pooped. Now what?

We were alerted by JohannTheDog to an awesome post at All Over AlbanyIt’s Winter. Your dog has pooped. What now?

Well, we’ve thought a lot about this issue. And we finally came to the conclusion that winter somehow impairs the ability of some people to make good decisions about whether they should pick up their dog’s poop.

What a beautiful flowchart to help you make your decision!

pick_up_dog_poop_flow_chart.png

It’s nice that you are provided with many options, including ‘Think of the Karma’ and ‘Wow, you really are a jerk!’.

It’s also nice that a PDF version is provided for easy printing. Let’s see some of these printed, laminated, and posted on the fences of the South Loop in coming months!

And, check out the comments.

DJdubJay – And hey… guy with two large dogs who just moved to the 100 block of Lancaster, can we talk for a minute? … Since you moved here, the ratio of “clean” sidewalk to steaming piles and grainy smears has rapidly been approaching an awful kind of fecal singularity.

Awesome!

Gretchen – As the owner of a puppy who loves “poopsicles,” I hate these people. Even good dog owners have had to leave a poop behind on rare occasions due to running out of bags, but, while I’m certainly not an expert in poop identification, I see what looks like evidence of repeat offenders on our regular route. It should be legal to pelt these people with snowballs.

Poopsicles!

Jen – @Rebecca is absolutely right that feeding a good diet is crucial. It really is terrible when you are walking a dog who poops four times during the walk, with each one getting progressively more pudding-like and hard to clean up. Good quality food makes for healthy poops that are easy to pick up!

Pudding-like!

Thanks AOA!

14
Dec
10

A friend of South Poop on Facebook

First, let’s look at some numbers.

According to its Press Statistics page, Facebook has 500 Million Active Users

250 Million of them log in on any given day.

According to the AVMA, 37.2 % of Households in the US have dogs.

(That’s 43 Million dog owning households with 72 Million dogs!)

Wordwide, let’s say the percentage is less, how about 30%?   And let’s make up that there are 2.5 Facebook users per household.

That means that there should be 200 Million Facebook “Households” worldwide.

And there should be 60 Million Dog Owning Facebook Households – worldwide!  Let’s hope that at least one member of each household picks up their dog’s poo!


So how come the Facebook page “I love dogs and care enough to pick up my dog’s poop.” has only 16 Likes??

That means that there are 59,999,984 missing ‘Likes‘!

Or, more accurately, if 75% of the population (using US statistics) is classified as ‘Urban’ (who cares where Fido goes on the farm), then Forty Four  Million Nine Hundred Ninety Nine Thousand Nine Hundred Eighty Eight additional people should be ‘Liking‘ this page!

From their description:

Calling all dog lovers! This page is a simple public declaration that DOG OWNERS DO CARE enough to pick up poop.

One simple click on ‘Like’ is all it will take!

Give it some love – if you’re on Facebook, take a look at the page, and Like!

05
Aug
10

some random poop

#1: A great post yesterday at the fine Pet Connection blog:  Poop parity: Do your share and then some

The best way to prevent transmission for you and your pets is to regularly pick up not only your dog’s feces from your yard, but to pick up piles someone else left at the dog park or in your neighborhood.

Yes, I know it’s disgusting and it’s not fair.

I know you don’t have to do it, and ohmydog what did that dog eat?

It’s a call for Poo Angels, as we know them. Poop parity! There’s an interesting Comments thread, and an important issue is raised:

Can someone answer me this – why is it my gag reflex isn’t triggered by my own dog’s or a friend’s dog’s poop, but a cold, lonely orphan poop sends me into gag hell?

Great question, and a true one – my dog’s poo doesn’t smell! 🙂

#2: Watch out for I Scoop Mad Poop!  Mad Poop showed up with a flurry of tweets last month. They look to be an ally in the good fight.  Keep it up!

#3: By now, most of you have probably heard:  “Dog eats Rockford man’s big toe, saves his life“. Be sure to read the Comments section!  ‘Just some of the “teachable moments” in this story’ Ha ha ha! Awesome!

And why do these morons figure they need to kill their dogs just for chewing off their rotten toes – yes, this has happened before!

13
Apr
10

“The bulging bag weighed a staggering 13 pounds.”

This is awesome – we hear from the John Kelly’s Washington column at the Washington Post about Wayan Vota and his dog Taxi, fellow orphan poo activists!  His bag of orphan poo was pretty heavy.

Ha ha ha check out the video!

This is similar to what some of our park Poo Angels have reported in Chicago (e.g. at Grant Bark Park), too – when you start picking it all up, you end up with a lot of poo in the bag!  Nobody pays attention to this, of course.  We’ve tried suggesting that they post a record – “bags of orphan poo collected today” – at the entrance to the park.  Maybe we could get a small scale, and make it a game: How big (or tiny) is your pup’s poop?  Who’s got the biggest poo today?

06
Apr
10

Curb your ‘Curb Your Dog’

There’s a sign hanging above a streetside garden at Roosevelt and State. What do our neighbors at Dearborn Park mean?

The phrase ‘Curb Your Dog’ originated in the 1930’s in New York City.  Citing (from barrypopik.com) the Chicago Daily Tribune, 4 December 1938, “Mostly About Dogs” by Bob Becker, pg. F10: “Curb Your Dog” Good Advice:

“In New York, truly a doggy city, an ordinance has been passed to make for a cleaner city and at the same time compel the indifferent dog owner to consider public welfare. The ordinance demands that dogs be curbed. There are signs everywhere with the request, “Curb your dog.” It means that owners cannot allow their pets to soil buildings, nor can a dog make a nuisance of himself on the grass of the parkway or on the sidewalk. As a result there are practically no complaints about the dogs soiling sidewalks or grassy places which the public uses.”

That is, ‘Please Curb your Dog’ meant ‘Don’t let your dog do its business on the sidewalk. Let your dog do it in the road’.

Makes sense.

Here’s another sign typical of the Chicago Park District:

Signs like this appear at the entrance to parks, and even have appeared at the entrances to CPD Dog Friendly Areas. What in the world do our helpful and overworked sign makers at the Park District mean?

A dog is sniffing a flower.  The dog will never escape the 10 lb link chain around its neck.

‘Let your dog sniff the flowers’? We need a sign for that?

‘Control your dog with a 10 lb link chain’? Vicious Froufrou might go wild!

Text of a Chicago ‘nuisance’ ordinance fills the bottom of the sign:

“An ordinance prohibits dogs to be permitted to run at large or to commit any nuisance upon any sidewalk, parkway or public park. Ordinance Sec 30-7-2”

‘Don’t poop on the grass’?  Could be… but where is Froufrou going to go?

‘Make your dog poop in the gutter’?  What, in a park??

‘Clean up after your dog’? Well, if you read it into the text… maybe.

It’s not enough to state, ‘well of course they mean…‘ – because there are three or four different meanings of Curb Your Dog in common usage. Using the google, it’s easy to find them.

There’s the original meaning (to cause to keep near the curb: Curb your dog.) – ‘do it in the road’:

Here: There is also the gentle reminder to, “Curb your dog!” meaning “Please have your dog do its business at the side of the road.”

Here: To lead (a dog) off the sidewalk into the gutter so that it can excrete waste.

Here: There are signs everywhere with the request, “Curb your dog.” It means that owners cannot allow their pets to soil buildings, nor can a dog make a nuisance of himself on the grass of the parkway or on the sidewalk.

Here: Existing city law literally prohibits pet owners from permitting dogs to defecate on any public property; however, in the past this law has been interpreted to mean that defecating dogs should be “curbed” – kept off the sidewalk – and even this interpretation has not been rigorously enforced.

Here: It also commands the owner to “curb” his dog, which means that the performance so crucial in the life of every dog owner must take place in the gutter and not on the sidewalk.

Here: Dogs can be trained at an early age to go on the curb, but there is no guarantee that they are always going to make it. More important: forcing a dog off the sidewalk and into oncoming traffic can be very dangerous, needless to say.

There’s a second meaning that’s consistent with common usage of the word ‘curb’ (to control as with a curb; restrain; check) – ‘control your dog’:

Here: The term “Curb Your Dog” basically has two meanings. One meaning is to keep your dog under control and out of trouble … ie; keep your dog leashed and/or confine to your property as to keep them from causing trouble for others.

Here: I asked the John to curb his dog so it didn’t get hurt by the grate or knock me over. John curbed his dog a little but the Jaxon was so anxious that he was uncontrollable.

Here: He has been asked several times to please leash and curb his dog.

There’s a final meaning, this one is a ‘secret code’ – ‘Pick up after your dog’:

Here: It also means to pick up your dog’s poo when they are out of your property … EX: while on walks and/or at the local park you should carry plastic bags and watch for when and where your dog takes a crap and clean it up!

Here: There are several dog owners in our community and several “curb” or clean up after their pets.

Here: I ask her–in a polite tone through the gate, to please curb her dog.  She tells me in such an emphatic tone “I AM picking it up!”.

There are also anomalous meanings – usages that are unclear on any concept – for example:

If “curb your dog” means to prevent your dog from defecating on the sidewalk or grass, then what does “do not curb your dog” mean? Should we force our dogs to defecate on their lawn? (And, while we’re at it, any dogs that wander past while we’re there?) Or is this mysterious sign the work of the Anti-Animal-Constipation League, telling us that it’s allowed (but not required) for our pets to relieve themselves there?

Ha ha ha!  So ‘Curb your dog’ is understood by some to mean: ‘Poo your dog’!

Yikes.

Our guess is that the Dearborn Park I sign means ‘do it in the road, anywhere but here‘, and it seems to be a legitimate request that should be respected.

And our guess is that the Chicago Park District sign, even though it reads ‘no nuisance on any sidewalk, parkway or public park’, means ‘pick up after your dog‘ – clearly, doing it in the road in the park makes no sense.

But these usages raise some questions.  Do we really want dogs to leave their poo at the ‘curb’?  Is dog poo left in the road really going to be OK?  Maybe let the rain wash it away or wait for the street cleaners to come by…?

Most people probably would prefer not to step in poo to get to their car.

?

If we are to pick it up, why use what is clearly an ambiguous code for ‘pick up your after your dog’ (e.g. in the parks) instead of something more direct.

Like ‘When your dog poops, pick it up’. Like ‘if you own a dog in the city, you pick up its poo’.

The message of ‘Curb your Dog’ is: We’re afraid of poo. We’re afraid to say poo.

But if we’re ‘afraid of poo’, then the failure to pick up by some dog owners is completely understandable.  They’re not a@*h#les. No, they’re just like us. Afraid and uncomfortable talking about, much less picking up, poo.

One of the arguments of this site is that we can change this.

A first step is to be grown-up about what we’re asking.  Use direct and honest language – and make it clear that if you own dogs in the city, you agree to pick up their poo.

Our signage should reflect this.

‘Curb your Dog’ should go.

04
Jan
10

The rain of poo